Jobless not Skill-less

Applying for jobs is so daunting. There’s so many jobs but so few responses. Especially when looking for a particular niche or specialty. Whatever you do, don’t give up. I have always worked but unfortunately have had to relocate several times due to the cost of living and being a very single parent. It used to be so easy, you go to the place you want to work and sell yourself to get an interview. The process has gotten much more intricate and exhausting.

I continue to apply to jobs online everyday until getting a response for an interview. My biggest lesson from this, don’t stop applying when you get one interview. These days the interview process can go on for weeks, sometimes even months for more desirable positions. Just like the jobs you’re interviewing for, you should have several options. In my experience it does not work out if you put all your eggs in one basket, as they say.

I actually got to a fifth interview at a company I very much wanted to work for. This took around 3 months because each interview had at least a week or so in between. Now after speaking with human resources assuring me that I was right for the position, I then get an email saying they have decided not to fill the position after all. This was discouraging to say the least, but turned out to be a great learning experience.

After the third interview, I was quite certain that I was who they wanted for the position and so I stopped applying elsewhere. Huge mistake! They decided to tell me they were no longer interested in filling the position, right before Christmas. Therefore, I was unemployed for the entire holiday. 

It is true that it’s easier to get work when you already have work. I do odd jobs for myself to get by so I let them know that I’m self-employed. That seems to make a big difference. Also, sometimes you have to take the job you don’t really want in order to continue the search for your perfect position. It’s taking so long to get through these interviews that I decided to take a serving job to get by.

I have to sell myself a bit extra, due to all of the relocating I’ve had to do in the last few years. When they see you’ve moved a lot, they often skip past your application. It’s always good to explain any extremes like this in your resume or cover letter. I’m still searching for the right fit but I won’t give up and every failure is another learning experience.

Also, many companies now do phone interviews for their first interview. It’s very hard for me to take this seriously. How can you get to know a person just by talking on the phone for 5 minutes? Not my favorite but it’s good to be prepared and practice this. Practice on the phone with a friend or colleague. I failed at my first phone interview and I’m great on the phone. It doesn’t hurt to write bullet points so you don’t get distracted from what you want them to know about you.

They claim there are more jobs available than people who want to work. I hope that doesn’t only include the menial jobs that don’t cover the cost of living. I have faith that the right one will find me and I will get to where I’m meant to be. I think the most important traits to have when completing any goal is faith and persistence. I am full of it! Stay tuned.

Who do you love!?

If you don’t love yourself, do you even know how to love? 💖 Does it even matter who you love, if you didn’t love yourself first? Did you know that what you love in others is just a reflection of how you see yourself?

13 years to train a child and then you just pray they make the right choices.. sorry but in my experience after 13 you’re f*****! Let them make their own mistakes but keep them away from bad influences, especially family!!! They learn how to let people treat them from us, this is the most important lesson. If I didn’t make so many mistakes and learn from them, I might not know this and my daughter wouldn’t either. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s not okay to continue to make them and never change.

They will repeat your mistakes, if you don’t evolve. Call me a B**** all you want but the proof is in the children. If we cannot be their safe space, they’ll always be searching for one. If you have to have a man to do everything, that’s what they’re going to think they need to do. Whatever you put up with, they’ll put up with too. Love yourself first, so they’ll love themselves too.

Serious Woman

Why is it so hard to believe what a woman says? Why are we not taken seriously? Are we not humans? Are we not made by the same God as man? We were made from a man’s rib, not from his asshole, so why would we deserve any lesser treatment than them. Regardless, God gave us free will for a reason. I’m not writing to convince you of anything, just to make you think.
Women stayed married until the 70’s and 80’s because they weren’t given a choice. My dad did what he thought was best because of how he was raised. Now is the time to realize that he can and should do better. He believed that without a man, life would be more difficult for me. He never took me seriously without one, never even believed in me, over any of them. Like most men his age, he believes everyone should think and feel as he does. This has always been confusing to me. He was the one who taught me integrity, hard work and how to succeed. I never understood his actions toward me. I was clearly smarter than all the men that I chose. I am a reflection of him after all. If any of them would have listened or worked as my partner, they would have been far more successful than they are.
It took me decades to realize that I kept choosing men like my father. They were all conditioned, as most men are, to believe that they are better in all aspects of life. Male chauvinism is a sexist and discriminatory viewpoint that has been ingrained in society so deeply that I’m not sure it will ever go away. It’s also why it’s so hard to find a good man, although there are many great ones. Too many don’t even know how ignorant they are. It shows in the way they degrade and belittle all the women in their lives, while claiming to love them. Men are supposed to be our leaders yet women are to blame for all the problems in society. How is that rational?
Men and women are supposed to be together because they make a great team. They’re different, not because one is better than the other, but because they need each other. Gender roles were made for this reason, so that we could use our skills to make life better together. These strict roles don’t apply anymore, people are no longer satisfied with being put into a specific box. Some women are meant to be in charge, just like some men are happy to take care of the house and kids. Not every man wants to be forced to build a house and not every woman wants to be a mother or a housewife. We actually have choices now, which seems to be driving our ancient and simple society completely mad. We, and especially our parents, have been conditioned to believe life needs to happen for us in a specific way. We now know that standard doesn’t always work for a happy life. Women are no longer satisfied with just standing by their man and smiling. Not every man is reliable or trustworthy or safe and we are tired of making our men seem better than they are. Holding men up on this pedestal means continuously sacrificing our own self worth for society. A society that mocks us, degrades us and sacrifices our health and safety in every way. Finally, women feel safe enough to speak our truth. We are tired of being shunned when we don’t go along to get along. We don’t care so much if we’re liked anymore, we’d rather be happy. I’m extremely blessed to be living in this time, it’s a true awakening for women. We can finally be happy on our own.
We all have a choice now, we are starting to come into our true selves and it can only get better! Well of course the male chauvinists don’t think so, they’re going to be called out on all of their bad behavior, unable to label us as crazy or irrational because they treated us badly. I’m excited for the future of our daughters and hope that we instill respect and decency in all of our sons, unlike ever before. No one is better than the other and we should all love and respect each other for who, not what we are.

Reminiscing

I try to remember the most important moments of my life in realizing who I am and why. My purpose being to express how I became a decent human through all of that trauma. My mind keeps going back to my early 20’s, sleeping on the floor in front of a wood burning stove, Howard Stern on the radio because that’s all we had. I never had to live that way, but I chose it to be with someone I loved. Wow I really had some seriously toxic attachment issues.

I have always thought it was admirable to go down in flames for someone you love. I don’t know where I got that from, because no one ever did that for me. After 45 years, I can acknowledge that was my downfall, among other things. The only person you should go down in flames for is yourself!!!

Really be on fire for yourself and everything else is already in place for you. We’re the ones that veer off of our path and think we know better. That brings me to ego, most everyone’s downfall but definitely mine. I’ve had to be humbled many times. I’ve learned so much about myself and life. I just need to figure out how to express it in a helpful way.

I have lived many tragic lives and still remain hopeful and naive in ways that even I don’t understand. It has worked for me and I’m sure it could be helpful but at the least entertaining. I’m making another move to get closer to my goals.

You can do everything the way you think it should be and still you will never achieve your dreams. As soon as you stop and focus on bettering yourself, then you begin to live your dreams. Everyone has flaws but acknowledging your faults and correcting behavior is the way to be better.

Do not attach yourself to anyone, until you are sure of who you are and what you want out of life. Attaching yourself to the wrong soul drags you down and takes years of your life that you will never get back. You can do everything on your own, far better and easier than you can with the wrong person. I am a testament to that. My most successful years have been without a partner. I only regret that it took so long for me to learn this.

Being in the wrong place with the wrong person, will make everything go the wrong way. There’s always a way out and you can start over a million times, there’s no limit.

Beauty Hack 😍✨

Hey ladies here’s a beauty secret everyone should know. You don’t need a celebrity label or 20 ingredients and 7 steps to have smoother skin. Ancient Greeks have been using this for centuries. SNAIL MUCUS 🐌✨ Yep that’s it! I swear by it. Here’s a very affordable brand. I do have eyelashes, they are invisible. 😅

Another tip I swear by is not using harsh face washes with so many unknown ingredients, stick with baby shampoo. It’s good enough for a baby’s bottom and your skin will be just as soft. 🪄👶

Most Importantly: Hydrate and Moisturize as often as possible, every single day! Keep it natural and save your skin. Don’t forget your sunscreen. 🌞🧴

Support is not just for bras, gentlemen.

Support each other, the more you do this, the better your life will be. When one person holds all the support, do you not expect them to tip over? The biggest issue in relationships today is equality. The government wants you to think it’s us against them but we need to focus on supporting each other, whatever that means and however they need. It’s the give and take that keeps us going and if that remains unbalanced, so does the relationship.

Men are terrified that they are losing their power and authority! Wrong, it’s actually only the ones who use it to manipulate others that are concerned by this shift in power. You can spot them easily, they disparage women because they hate us. It doesn’t matter why, their mother abandoned them or she was a whore. They hate women and we need to be aware of this.

Hard truth:
Weak men create masculine women.
Strong men create feminine women.

Compatibility is Crap

I have to tell you that your zodiac match is total crap. I’m a Scorpio and my only match is a Cancer!? False. Two out of three Cancers are diabolically insane manipulators! They happily stomped out my happy go lucky spirit energy to gain power over me. That just makes me sad.

Although that’s the opposite of what you should do to your partner that you care for, It hasn’t made me a cynic yet. I’m just letting you know that your star chart is total crap. Dating sites are made to keep you swiping. You’re better off focusing on what you already have!

I’m happiest when I can focus on making myself, my home and family better. If you can’t be kind and lift up each others spirits, why bother? I don’t need anyone for anything but some company and kindness. If that scares the men away, that’s less I have to worry about.

I’ve also discovered that the ones who are mainly focused on what they do for you, are not able or willing to focus on treating you well. I decided to just treat myself well and someone will come along and be kind or they won’t. I’ve got too many blessings to celebrate, to worry about that.

The more you know, the less people you like. The happier you will be!!! 🤗

Meh

I started to write the word men but it is how it’s meant to be. I keep finding the same one so I’m overly underwhelmed. My dogs have more to offer as companions. Which is why I gave up dating and got a second dog. Still, the same Meh keeps finding me. Expecting way too much too early and having no respect for my time or me as a person.

Why? Let’s discover this together. I’m a single mom struggling, focused on a better life for my kid. They always have the solution to all my problems and say things like oh baby you don’t need to worry I’ll take care of that, but never actually do. I just need them to shut up and listen, silly me. Some even start to call me names once I’m no longer interested.

They take up every free moment I have and act like I owe them, how dare I not pick up their call or answer a text right away. Like I didn’t have an entire life to take care of all on my own, when I met them. They never listen but also never stop talking, especially to tell you how the world should be. I’m a fool not to let them take care of me, but they can only do that if I follow their specific instructions and behave as their sex slave and lap dog.

So I think it’s just them taking advantage because they think I need someone. What kills me is I love men and I want a good one to love and care for, that cares well for me. I know there are good ones, I’m still holding out for mine. The last one didn’t even have common decency or manners.

I don’t need a man to do things for me, as much as I need a man to be kind to me!! I don’t know why that’s so hard to find. I have decided I’ll keep working on myself until he shows up, or doesn’t. Either way I’m happy with who I am and what I have accomplished on my own.

MIDLIFE HACKS 💫

What are the most important things needed to live a good midlife?

The ability to laugh at yourself and try not to take life too seriously. Never take others actions personally. Always do your best to be calm and considerate. Have compassion but know your boundaries. It’s ok to choose you first.

Losing everything you built, after decades, can truly humble a person. This seems to be common among the middle aged, Generation X. Starting over again and again is daunting. People tend to feel, as you age closer to 50, that it’s almost over. You couldn’t be more wrong.

I’m finding that the older we get, the more certain and confident we become. You must put yourself ahead of others, to become your healthiest and best version. Spending time alone after a tragedy is important in helping you learn who you are comfortable being and being with. This makes it easier to find what is and is not healthy for you.

It’s not so much of a midlife crisis, as it is, shedding the old you and evolving. I believe they call it a midlife crisis, because not everyone evolves. As a matter of fact, the majority of people stay ignorant and stubborn throughout their entire lives. They often resent anyone evolving, because they become more difficult to manipulate. It’s ok to say no, or move on from relationships with unhealthy dynamics.

Most of all, trust your body. If you feel uneasy, there’s a reason. Stress can kill you as fast as anything else can.